I could say a lot about this. I could backtrack with the whole story how I met a stranger on the first of April, harbored passionate secrets, and, as destiny would have it, would be forced to never see him again.
But simultaneously, my eyes were forced open about the size and depth of the world. How that tiny, 3-windowed dining area couldn't possibly hold on to the bits of traveler evaporating into the sky. An independent ecosystem. An exploratory force. Self-sufficient, unattached, going with the wind.
In that Somerville afternoon, I gripped onto whatever I could. But you can't explore the whole world in one day. You can't expect to be understood, to understand, all at once.
But you can be enticed, excited. You can recognize that there is so much more out there to be seen beyond the whatever-mile radius you've been confined to. It's a dream of luxury, maybe, but it's a dream nonetheless. Maybe it's never supposed to be accomplished. But it's there to keep you working, keep you motivated.
I would say more but my eagerness is being stifled by the fact that I just ate two grilled cheese sandwiches and they're sitting in my stomach like a rock oh god everything hurts